My wee heart

My heart sighs.
Everytime I struggle, wrestle around; I fight and play with lies; I try to kick them away and I cry and pray for it to pass.
Everytime this happens, I arrive at the same beautiful conclusion that never seems to tire me.
Everytime I hear it, it has the same profound impact on my heart and runs like water deep into my soul.

Ali, you are loved by me.
Ali, you are loves by me no matter what you do.
You do not need to be perfect for me to love you.
My truth that I sing over you is more powerful than the lies you wrestle with.

Never be distracted by the paths of others, simply keep your eyes on me.
Never compare your journey with anyone else.
I. LOVE. YOU
I am promising you beautiful, that I will provide for you. For every need that you will have. I am going to feed you, I am going to make sure you have a place to sleep and take shelter. I am going to love on you there. I am going to lead you, I am going to support you emotionally. I will always feed your soul and make your spiritually full. I am the only one who can do this.  I will love you.
I will love you regardless of what you do for me.

If you want to sit and watch TV for 7 hours, I love you just as much as I would if you prayed for 7.

My love for you is not conditional and you never have to earn my love.
I actually trust you Ali.
I trust you with the plans for your up and coming trip. I trust you making decisions with money, I trust you when you are selling your possessions and when you are sharing about when I'm leading you.
I ask that you would in turn trust ME.
You can trust me and I will be good to you.
I am the only person who can promise you that I will never let you down.
You will never be disappointed when your HOPE is set on me.
Stop focusing on the transformation of your heart and mind, stop focusing on healing and restoration. Let's keep it simple honey and let your heart only be set on me and my love for you.
You have my permission to stay there and set up camp there.
Why not pitch your tent next to my river of grace?
Immerse your ful body in my love.
Take shade under my tree of truth and eat its fruit.
Be free to run on the grass of revelation and lay in it.

Know that when you are with me, you are free.
You are free my sweet Ali and I believe in you.

The Sacred Romance

"Suppose there was a King who loved a humble maiden. The King was like no other king. Every statesman trembled before his power. No one dared breathed a word against him, for he had the strength to crush all opponents. And yet this mighty King was melted by love for a humble maiden.
How could he declare his love for her?
In an odd sort of way, his kingliness tied his hands. If he brought her to the palace and crowned her head with jewels and clothed her body in royal robes, she would surely not resist - noone dared resist him. But would she LOVE him?

She would say she loved him, of course, but would she truly? Or would she live with him in fear, nursing a private grief for the life she had left behind? Would she be happy at his side? How could he know? If he rode to her forest cottage in his royal carriage, with an armed escort waving bright banners, that too would overwhelm her.

He did not want a cringing subject. He wanted a lover, an equal. He wanted her to forget that he was a king and she a humble maiden and to let shared love cross the gulf between them. For it is only in love that the unequal can be made equal."

(As quoted from the book, "The Sacred Romance")

It seems that to find love you must set it free. The wildness of the lover before me and the freedom he sets before me because he wants me to love him, not to be controlled by his power.
Power can do almost everything, but it cannot control love. You can never make another love you.

I am so grateful for God's wild love and his unexhausted pursuit of my heart.
Unexhausted pursuit of my heart.
Continual romancing.
Painful letting go. Painful to believe that it is actually true. A fight to recieve and let truth reign in my heart.
My heart is being stretched.
My mind is a battle, constantly wanting to control and make it's own way.
But my heart's desires remain true.
I want what my Father has set before me.
I want what He wants, and most of all, I want to know my lover.
I desire to know the wild heart of God and to be led by Him.
I desire to be consumed by His Truth and His song over you.
You're beautiful.

Intimacy

Sometimes I miss God so much.
I dislike how busy my life can be, seemingly doing things FOR God, but not necessarily spending time WITH God and enjoying sweet intimacy and time with Him.

I am in this place right now and It’s a vicious cycle of being so busy and then beating yourself up that you don’t have time.
I  miss intimacy!!!!!!
I miss the word!!!!
I miss hearing His voice and His sweet words in my ear, His beloved.
Father I so desire you.

I absolutely NEED you. I feel like I’m not getting enough oxygen when we don’t get to spend time together. You truly are the source of my life. You are the very breath that I inhale. I want to be united with you again and I want to be wrapped up in love with you daily. I want to hear you calling me to steal away and spend time with you and I want to do it.

I am sick of playing solitaire on my phone and zoning out to ‘relax’!!!!! I want to spend time with YOU and I want my soul to be fed by your words and your truth. It is rich nectar and brings LIFE. I want you to breathe on me afresh and fill me with your presence. Revive me. It’s only by your grace that I can even come before you and KNOW you! What a pleasure and a gift. Feed me with the richest of fair, let us steal away and delight in one another.

I don’t want to seek security in friendships alone, I don’t want to waste my days and my life on meaningless things that will be blown away with the wind. I want to look back on my life and see that I filled it with rich truths from my Fathers lips.

I run to you and I shelter in you.
I come to you because you are the one that satisfies.
Satisfy my soul.
Your name is like honey on my lips.
You are the conquering lion and you will break every chain.
I absolutely come to you. Even if I forget how to, even if I try to work it all out for myself and hold myself back by being concerned by details, you are patient and ever-loving and you will satisfy me with all I NEED.
You open your hands at the right time.
You feed me, you clothe me.
You adore me.
Honoured.
Love, your daughter.

I Was Created For You

A day of love.
A day of cards, teddies and chocolates bought last minute.

And you adore me.

You couldn't care less about roses, red and fancy wrapping paper.

You simply want to gaze into my eyes and let me breathe in your love.

Nothing to me in this world is as beautiful as when you believe in me.

You are truly magnificent. My eyes are locked on you and my heart is captured.

I look at you and you FILL my gaze.
Your eyes speak to me and I feel the volume of love in your heart.

The more I look at you, the more beautiful you become.
You blossom and flourish before my eyes.
The more I love you, the more lovely you are.
You were made to be loved by me.

My love. Will you come and be with me?
Will we cuddle up together and I can tell you of my heart.
Can we share quality time? No TV, no phone.
Just you and I.

I long to run with you. To hide in a tree.

Share with me the secrets of your heart.

I want to know the depths.

I want to be familar with all that you are.

I know you.

I know every hair on your head.

I am familar with every freckle on your face.

You delight me.

You are beautiful.

You are romantic because I AM ROMANCE.

I am pursuing you and sweeping you off your feet.

I am whispering my love to you.

My eyes are fixated on you.

Passion.